What time are they?

Dear Professor,

Are some people time travellers that we don't know about, living in the world but really they are from the future?

From Socrates,
Manchester.

www.everythingsfine.net

Hi Socrates!

Wow! That's quite a question!!! I hope I have TIME to answer it!!!!

Of course I do.

Time travel has worried mankind for as long as I can remember. And quite rightly so. It's a dangerous old business. If you had asked this question only a few years ago Socrates, you would have been labelled as some kind of mentally mentalised paranoid ridiculant. Of course nowadays this is not the case. There ARE time travellers from the future walking amongst us today.

The following are examples of Time Travellers From The Future or TTFTF's:



This man's name is Zarfwad and he is from the year 3122. He told me that in the future there is a constant cold wind blowing at neck level throughout the USAUK where he lives. He likes to come here to the past in order to buy more old ladies head scarves with which to protect his future neck. You can clearly see his silver rocket pack on his back. This is from a trip he made to 2107. "It doesn't work as a rocket pack anymore" he told me, "but I make it work as an accessory".



These three Past-enthusiasts call themselves (L to R) Booragu, Tentatentent, and Cliiive. They have come here from the year 4111 for "the clubs mainly". Booragu is wearing the glasses made popular by one of the first TTFTFs, Sir Elton John. By the year 4111, the sun is only 3 miles away from the earth and these glasses are essential to avoid 'eye burn'. Tentatentent is wearing an explorer's outfit and holding a mechanical 'third eye' which would suggest she is bold, brave, and spiritually open but we can also quite clearly see she is also holding on tight to a piece of string which connects her back to her own time. One pull on this string and she will be transported straight back to her Cloudppartment in the sky of tomorrow. As for Cliiive, well he seemed quite the show off. When I took this photograph he insisted on playing his micro-invisi-monica. In the future, it would seem, harmonica's are made illegal and harmonica player's are hunted down and eaten. In order to keep their culture alive, they made their instruments very small and then also invisible. Cliiive was simply showing how laws of the future could be mocked in the past. He was a bit of a dick really.



This delightful couple were called Miss. Breenz and Mr. Banf. They told me that they had come to our time from the year 5p2! and represented the Leopardpeople of Bosh. The island of Bosh apparently had only humans and leopards as it's population. One new years eve, after a few drinks, they all got together and the resulting leopardpeople became the genetic norm. In this astonishing photograph Mr. Banf is attempting to catch the small cartoon bird that Miss. Breenz has just spat from her mouth. She did this throughout my interview and to be honest I thought her quite rude.

So there we go Socrates, they DO exist, and they are all around you. I hope my photographic evidence has soothed your questioning young mind. If you spot someone you think could be futuristic, why not stop them and ask them of tales from beyond our time!! I'm sure they'll have TIME to stop and chat!!!!!!

HMMMMMMM....science pie!!!


Prof. Thorogood,
LMAO Institute.